Key Takeaways
Not having travelled more was the single biggest regret named by over-50s in a recent poll, coming in ahead of money, health and losing touch with old friends
Short-term, you regret what you did; long-term, you regret what you didn't, which is why the trip you cancelled in 2019 still nags at you
The regrets that last come from failing your ideal self, and a bucket list is the most concentrated ideal-self document you'll ever write
Practical regrets get dealt with and filed away as sorted; aspirational ones just sit there open
The flaw in a bucket list is that it carries no dates, so it quietly assumes you'll be equally capable someday
Time buckets fix that by sorting trips into the decade where your body will still enjoy them
Three of the top four destinations over-50s named are long-haul and physically demanding, which is exactly the category that keeps getting pushed back
Long-distance travel in older adults is linked to better cognitive function, fewer depressive symptoms and less loneliness
The bucket list most people picture is the one they wrote in their thirties. Undated, ambitious, full of places that would photograph well. But after crossing 50, you read that same list quite differently; for some reason, it feels like a schedule now.
When 2,000 people over 50 were polled and asked to share their one regret of travelling, they mentioned the top three places (among the other ten) that they wished they had travelled to, but never did.
So, let’s see the one regret that outlasts all the others; the answer might change how you'd write your travel bucket list today.
What people over 50 actually say they wish they'd done
It might come as a surprise to you, but travelling more comes in ahead of saving more money for 50+ travellers, way ahead of not losing touch with friends and looking after their health.
For a generation that's been told to worry about all three, that’s quite a result.
Plus, the things they wished they'd prioritised more included
Taking spontaneous trips without overthinking them (21%)
Going to bucket list destinations (17%); and
Saying yes to adventures instead of focusing on work (14%).
Now, look at what two of those three have in common. Both are about giving yourself permission to do without thinking much or only focusing on their responsibilities. Something that costs nothing.
That said, these are the places they wished they had travelled to:
New Zealand
Japan
Australia
Canada
The Maldives
Iceland,
Norway
Italy
Egypt
Vietnam.
In this exact same order. But that’s not all.
Separate research from Emirates points the same way, with 62% of people over 50 saying they want to see the world's natural wonders and 27% planning a safari or wildlife trip.
Why the trip you skipped is the one that stays with you
This one’s more specific than you might expect.
Regret runs on a timetable
So, back in the ‘90s, Thomas Gilovich and Victoria Medvec found that regret follows a predictable schedule. In the short term, you're more bothered by things you did. In the long run, you're more bothered by things you didn't do.
You can test this on yourself in about four seconds.
The overpriced hotel you booked in 2018? Forgotten. The year you decided to put Japan or whichever destination off until things settled down? Still right there, isn’t it?
The road you didn't take gets better with time
And there's also a pretty good reason for that too. But it might as well be a bit unflattering, though.
Inaction regrets hang around because you quietly romanticise the road not taken. The specific worries that stopped you that time have long gone quiet since then. The trip you cancelled becomes a perfect memory while the reason you cancelled it for didn’t survive the decade.
So, you end up comparing a real, ordinary life against an imaginary trip that got better every year you skipped it, and now your bucket list is a document about who you wanted to be.
This is the part that explains everything else.
Across six studies, Davidai and Gilovich found that our most enduring regrets come from failing our ideal self rather than our ought self, and the gap isn't close. Participants in this study named ideal-self regrets 72% of the time against 28%, and when asked for the single biggest regret of their life, 76% named one about not becoming the person they'd hoped to be.
But why do those even stick around?
Because you deal with the practical ones. Because you take active steps to sort them out, and file them as resolved. Aspirational regrets never get that treatment because they’re vague. For instance, be a good person, parent, or a daughter or a son, Gilovich argues, “well, what does that mean, really?” He adds, “There aren’t clear guideposts. And you can always do more.”
Now, coming to that bucket list of yours. That's one of the most concentrated aspirational documents you'll ever write. Every line on it is a hope, and that's what the title of this piece is getting at.
Regret turns the volume up on what you already wanted, which is why the list you wrote at 32 or 41 reads so differently at 55 or 63.
The flaw sitting inside every bucket list
The wanting is doing its job. The format is what lets you down.
A bucket list carries no dates, and that's the entire design, plus the entire trouble, because an undated list assumes you'll be equally capable someday.
That “someday” is doing an enormous amount of work in that sentence.
How to rewrite your travel bucket list this month
Here's what to actually do with it.
Sort your destinations by decade: Next five years, the five after that, and beyond. This sorting question will help you understand whether you’ll still enjoy it, as per how your body performs then.
Move anything with a physical floor to the front: For instance, altitude, long walking days, remote regions, sustained heat.
Give your top three an actual month: Someday and next year can turn out to be the same word.
Stop waiting to feel certain: Remember, the over-50s in that poll named spontaneity as a bigger wish than any specific destination? If you wanna make a decision on a random Tuesday, make it.
Take the trips with other people in them first: A trip with a specific person in it has two windows to close, not one.
Book the boring bits early: For instance, your visas, vaccinations, and the long-haul leg.
The list worth acting on
The list you wrote in your thirties might still be there next year, if you don’t fix it today. And the place to start doing it is in the past.
Think about the trips you have actually taken. Some cost too much, one or two disappointed you, and at least one involved an argument in a car park (you still remember that Karen, don’t you?).
They've all softened into something you're glad you did. Now look at the ones you haven’t taken yet, and just put dates on them and get moving.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs)
What do people over 50 regret most about their travel choices?
In a poll of 2,000 people commissioned by Icelandair, not having travelled more came out as the top regret for the over-50s, ahead of saving money, keeping up with friends and looking after their health. Underneath that, the specific wishes were mostly about permission: taking spontaneous trips without overthinking them, and saying yes to adventures instead of focusing on work.
What trips do older travellers wish they had taken?
The ranked wishlist ran New Zealand, Japan, Australia, Canada, the Maldives, Iceland, Norway, Italy, Egypt and Vietnam. The top three are all long-haul and all reward being able to walk properly. That's the category most likely to get postponed, and the category least able to survive being postponed.
How does travel regret change as you age?
It flips. In the short term, you regret the trip that went wrong, and in the long term you regret the trip you never booked, because inaction regrets hang around while action regrets fade. Bucket-list travel also happens to be tied to your ideal self, which is the kind of regret that never gets marked as resolved. That combination is why the trip you skipped at 45 is still on your mind at 60.